My list to survive a zombieland
by Billy Bob 2010
Summary: Just for fun. My own list of rules for surviving zombieland. A brand new rule


First off I want to thank

Loveunderamidnightsky

lovelikewoe13

AJ aka Stalker

Thanks for leaving a review. And I thought of another rule so im adding it.

Hollow everybody. It is I. Billybob2010! As some of you might remember I'v brought you The fan fiction Zombieland **- Pontiac **and I shared the **how to survive a zombie attack! Poster. **After I posted it I got a few reviews. Some of you have said that I'd could make my funny own rules. Now I'm not really that funny. But I'm willing to give it a shot. So here they are.

**Rules**

**Rule 1. You got something on your face. I'll get it.**

Head shot are the fastest way to deal with zombies. The best place to aim for is under the nose, center of the upper lip. Can you say brain stem?

**Rule 2. What If?**

If you find your saying oh shit. Chances are you didn't have a plan. Always plan ahead. And have a plan B, C, D, E or more. Try to think of everything that can go wrong. The What If game is a good way to help you to plan ahead.

**Rule 3. A Game changer.**

Always be ready to change thing up. The city gone. It just you and your love one. Time to get out. If your trying to get out of town using the interstate and the out going lanes are chocked with traffic. Don't just sit there. Go ahead and use the incoming lanes. Sure you might be going the wrong way. But It should be empty. And the cops have more pressing things to deal with. Then bother some one going the wrong way.

**Rule 4. No hospitals. There to costly!**

Hospitals are expensive nowadays . But after Z-Day they cost you more then a leg or arm. They cost you your life.

**Rule 5. Watch your step!**

Tempting as it might be to look back and see your adoring fans chasing after you. It better to watch were your going. Cause if you fall. Your fans wont be to interesting in helping you up. No Instead they be more interesting in help them self's to a piece of you. And I'm not talking about you clothes.

**Rule 6. From my cold dead hands!**

Your weapon is one of the most importing tools in Zombieland. Keep hold of your weapon. Cause if you loss it your die. Might as well have a death grip on it any way.

**Rule 7. So take a look. Its in a book. Reading rainbow! **

Hey that guy from star trek was right. Everything you'll need to know for stating over after the zombie Apocalypse. It can be found In a book. So that means books are wroth there weight in gold. Don't know how to do something. There a book on it that can teach you. Just go down to your local library and pick it up. Plus zombies cant read so it'll be the only zombie free zone in town.

**Rule 8. A mans castles!**

Running around all day killing zombies is all good and fun. But its hard work and your going to have a safe place to lay your head at night. Preferably a to story house somewhere out side of town. Make it into a fort. Destroy the stairs and live up on the second floor.

**Rule 9. Groovy !**

Ok so chains saw may be cool. But there heavy, loud and they run on gas. Oh and killing a zombie with one is really messy business . Zombie body fluids are biological hazards. I don't know about you . But I don't want to be cover in that crap. Ah hell what am I saying. Their a blast to play with. Just wear a rain coat and protective eyewear. You should be fine.

**Rule 10. Where's the good stuff? This is the good stuff. Snakes and sparklers! **

Fire works can distract the zombie horde. But only if it's the good stuff like the stuff you see on the 4th of July. You know the stuff you and me can't buy anywhere.

**Rule 11. Please Run! Don't walk.**

Sometimes its just better to run. It might not seem cool. But if all you have is five rounds left. And over twenty zombie running towards you. Run! But if you cant run and have to stand your ground. Then to stay and fight.

**Rule 12. A deer caught in the lights.**

Driving at night is extremely risky. You wont be able to see very far up the road and that means less time to react to an obstacle on the road. Also every set of hungry eyes that see your head light will follow them. So if you stop for a nap. When you wake up you'll find your self surrounded.

**Rule 13. Crazy crazy crazy!**

Humor the crazy people. Especially the ones that armed to the teeth with a number of death dealers.

**Rule 14. Smokes!**

When the apocalypse happens money will be come useless. There a lot of people out there that smoke and they can't kick this disgusting habit. In fact cigarettes are used as form of currency in the prison system. So its more then likely cigarettes will become very valuable. So even if you don't smoke grab a couple of cartons. Who knows they might get you a couple rounds of ammo or some gas.

**Rule 15. Music! **

The moans of the dead and the silences of an empty world can drive you to insanity. Music can help you with that. So a MP3 player or an I Pod is a must.

**Rule 16. Damn I love Jello!**

Jello can last a while and its loaded with a lot of calories. it's a perfect source of calories all you have to do is add water.

**Rule # 17. Oo Yeah!**

O no your trapped in a room and zombies are beating on the door. Don't threat summon your inner cool aid guy. Go throw the wall. Most walls today are covered by drywall. Knock along the wall and listen. You know what? Screw that its to time consuming. Just grab something heavily Chair, table whatever and start smashing through that wall. You have to squeeze through the support beams. Just be ready to run. Cause you'll never know what on the other side. It maybe an empty room or a room full of zombies. Come to think about maybe you should knock and listen. It your choice. O don't forget to yell Oo Yeah!

I came up with a lot of these rules on the fly. But some of them were inspired by movies and TV shows. Probably not very funny. But like I said I'm not a very funny person. All the same hope at lease there's one or two that where funny. Till next time. O one more thing. Please leave a review. Love them or hate them. Let me know. You should be able to leave anonymous reviews. Good bye. I spelled Hellow wrong dont think any one noticed Mwahahahaahhaha. (Light bolts flash behind me)


End file.
